Barack Obama Superstar

Further proof that Obama slept through his college classes.

Last week, The One, the smartest man to ever occupy the White House!, fretted to an interviewer (foreign press, natch!), that the one thing that had frustrated him most was his inability to curtail murders, those caused by guns, that is. He’s been “stymied” by malevolent forces, don’t ya know.

Once again, one’s first response to one of these thought pieces from Dear Leader is, “Is he serious?”

That evil and bad things are a part of life has long been accepted. It’s an immutable law.

The earliest of ancient literature confronts the topic. The roots of philosophy are, well, rooted in the question of good and evil, among other things. Whole religions are practically built around the question. A mildly broadly-educated college grad would know these things.

That evil and misfortune are part of life is so foundational that debates over permanently excising them are considered utopian. They are part and parcel of the human condition.

But not for our King Barry. Call him nothing if not ambitious. He thinks he can remove those bad thoughts and bad actors from mankind once and for all by his sheer magnificence. If only someone else had thought to banish bad things we’d all be so much better off now.

But then, no leader ever before has been of The One’s caliber. Not even that Jesus fellow or that Buddha dude. Maybe Mohammed could move a mountain but Barack Obama Superstar takes on far bigger challenges, like eliminating gun shootings (and making everything free, but that’s another story).

This latest Obama tempest was in relation to his desire to confiscate guns from the American public. Or as he calls it “common sense” gun laws. You might have noticed that a Democratic politician cannot say ‘gun laws’ without putting the phrase ‘common sense’ in front of them (often followed by the hoary ‘Every industrialized nation… [has disarmed its population]’ which isn’t exactly true since the Swiss are heavily armed). The “common sense” phrasing was poll-tested to appeal to soccer moms and transgendered folks. If Obama said he wanted to confiscate guns there’d be serious pushback so it’s best to… uh… be less than truthful about your intentions.

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