Because Pierced and Tattooed Freaks Wasn’t Available?

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry over ABC Family’s decision to “rebrand” itself — that is, dump the “ABC Family” name and replace it with something hipper. They spent years, decades, building a solid brand ID – Hey, safe family zone here – then some MBAs decide to blow it up overnight. (Admittedly, the jackwipes running the place had always been embarrassed by the ‘family’ part and constantly tried to push the envelope but jeez).

The new “brand”? “Freeform.”

How about “No sense what we are doing”? Not as catchy but more accurate.

“Ink” was one of the alternate choices.

Was “Pierced and Tattooed Freaks” not available? What about just calling it “Caitlyn” to be trendy?  That’s so “family.”

The Bozos running the operation seemed to feel the need to change because “Millennials” are approaching 40.

Um, okay… Uh, Mr. Cable TV Executive, there are youngsters still being born and growing up. Families weren’t merely a creation of the Millennials. They existed before and will exist afterward. There’ll still be a need for a family-oriented network, or at least the need for some place to air endless reruns of “Saved by the Bell.”

Two years from now, when the next group of MBAs and marketing dingalings are installed because “Freeform” has lost its “identity” (who could have predicted that?), I want every turd involved with this to be fired. Of course, by then, most will have been promoted and the others will be highly paid TV consultants…


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