Presidential aide (running into the Oval Office) — Pres. Obama, there’s been a mass shooting in San Bernardino!
O — That’s the last straw. I demand that all guns be confiscated! It must have been at a Planned Parenthood clinic or an African-American church or a school!
Aide — No, at a Christmas party for county workers!
O — Well, we should ban so-called Christmas parties. They no doubt precipitated this tragedy. Separation of church and state! I used to teach Con. Law, you know. And we should ban the Tea Party because they’ve gone too far in attacking hard-working government workers!
Aide — Apparently it was some Muslims employed by the county who were doing the shooting.
O — (Long pause) No one no should jump to any conclusions here! Call Loretta Lynch and have her look into this when she gets back from her Muslim advocacy party. Oh, and tell her that this has nothing to do with Paris.
Ladies and gentleman, the funniest man in Washington, Barack Obama! He’s here though the next year. How ’bout a round of applause…