The Sea of Texas

One of the main Global Warming scare tactics is the insistence that it will bring rising seas. None other than our own King Barry the Weatherman, mischanneling King Canute, has declared that his election would send the seas scurrying back to whence they came though he’s also claimed that the seas regular overwhelm Miami and fish swim in the streets.

Of course those familiar with the works of Albert the Goracle know that New York is close to being swallowed by the sea. Any day now, yep, any day…

So I shall offer a solution to soothe the fevered brows of the Global Warmongers — the Sea of Texas.

Most Global Warmers would be surprised to learn that the whole state of Texas was underwater millions of years ago (hint: it was a heck of a lot warmer back in those days — our weather today ain’t got nothing on those days back then).

I am not proposing that the whole state be flooded but I suggest that parts of the semi-arid, lightly populated western part could be turned into a large inland sea.

A series of desalinization plants could be built along the Gulf coast. These could be nuclear powered or maybe some could be powered by windmills taking in the coastal breeze. Unlike the liberal folks of our oceanic coasts, who blanch at the thought of a windmill off their coast, Texans are long comfortable with energy sources visible off the coast.

Pipelines would be built to take the water out west and north. Texans are also comfortable with pipelines and if the pipelines leak — well, it’s just water!

And think of the engineering challenge. That should get the intellectual juices flowing.

I’m sure that the first response of Global Warmists would be — “Hey, you’d drain the Gulf of Mexico!”

They aren’t too bright you have to understand.

Water is fungible so while it drains from the northwestern end of the Gulf of Mexico it just flows back in from the Atlantic via the Caribbean. You’d have to pump a lot of water to drop the level of the Atlantic enough to drastically affect the Gulf of Mexico, especially considering how fast those seas be arisen’!

So in this case, the “rising seas” can be tamed by transferring water from one place, the sea, to another, desert land. Problem solved.

Of course there’d be the cries that man is too stupid to do this (Yet somehow smart enough to precisely calculate the weather decades into the future, micromanage numerous industries from Washington and know the racism and sexism buried in the hearts of all Americans that don’t vote Democrat).

(This would inevitably be followed by the squeals that man is monkeying with the environment and that a sea in west Texas would threaten the Tom Green County Blue Sand Flea [not to be confused with the Coke County Purple Dirt Flea which will also be threatened] and so on.)

There would be side benefits in this monumental endeavor. A large inland sea could have beneficial effect on the climate by mitigating some of the heat that west Texas is (in)famous for (or it could exacerbate the thunderstorms that percolate out there, interesting thought). Or it might not do much at all.

In addition it might help recharge the vast Oglalla Aquifer and other groundwater sources along with providing irrigation possibilities for farmers in New Mexico, Texas and Oklahoma. And it would aid water supply problems in fast-growing north Texas and Oklahoma.

Think about it. If this Global Warming problem is as big as the scientists of the “settled science” say it is, then big solutions are needed — and we’re not talking about putting business under the thumb of government bureaucrats or everybody being forced to live like Road Warrior-style post-apocalyptic wretches rationing and recycling everything while making nothing new.

Once my proposal is accepted and put forth, we can start talking about the Great Gobi Inland Ocean. What an engineering feat that would be.

Climate Changers, are you with me? You do want to solve the problem, right?

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